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‘Evil’, ‘peasants’ and ‘vomit’ – Eva Green’s WhatsApp messages exude star quality | Movie

ONE much of Eva Green’s success is due to her sense of unknowable mystery. This is a woman who steers clear of the celebrity circuit, who isn’t set on spilling her every waking thought on social media. Interviewers are forever struggling to get to her core. Since her breakthrough in Bertolucci’s The Dreamers nearly two decades ago, Green has preferred to let her work speak for her. She is an enigma, an image on a screen onto which we can project our own feelings.

Or at least she was, because lots of Eva Green’s WhatsApp messages have been read out in court, and hoo boy!

Let us briefly consider the trial. In 2019, Green signed up for A Patriot, a science fiction film also set to star Charles Dance and Helen Hunt. The film – about a border corps captain in an authoritarian futuristic state – was never made. When production hit the skids, Green sued the producers for her £830,000 fee (almost a quarter of the film’s total budget). And that led the producers to contradict themselves, claiming that the reason the film was never made was because Eva Green tried to sabotage it. She claims she did everything she could to fulfill the terms of her contract and “in its entirety” denies the claim that she did not want the project to succeed.

But the ins and outs of a low-budget British film production aren’t why anyone cares about this story. No, what has caught everyone’s attention is how Eva Green writes. Because it turns out she’s not an enigma so much as the world’s most hysterical gobby diva.

Green played Vesper Lynd in James Bond: Casino Royale. Photo: United Artists/Columbia Pictures/Allstar

According to court papers, WhatsApp exchanges revealed ahead of the trial, which starts on Tuesday, show Green calling Jake Seal, one of the film’s executive producers, “evil”, a “lunatic”, an “insidious sociopath” and my favorite . , “pure vomit”. Less strong but equally amusing words were reserved for another executive producer, Terry Bird, whom she called “a fucking idiot”. Together, she said, they were “arseholes”.

The lyrics seem to stem from Green’s frustrations over the film’s budget, which was apparently half the figure she had been told. She was also reportedly initially given “approval rights” regarding the hiring of production staff to ensure “the film would be as good as it could be”. However, the producers claim that she simply demanded to handpick certain members of the crew – an assistant and driver, a make-up artist, a dialect coach and script supervisor – and that when her request was rejected, she wrote to her agent saying she would be “ obliged to take (producer’s) crap farming crew members from Hampshire”.

Now there are two ways to look at this. The first is to be upset that it’s happening at all. For a film to be canceled so close to production is heartbreaking, and for it to end up like this – in court, with all kinds of private correspondence leaked to the world – is ugly and degrading for everyone involved. As recent trials (such as those involving Johnny Depp and Rebekah Vardy) have shown, few things in life are as humiliating as seeing your private messages amplified and distributed for entertainment. No matter how this lawsuit ends, no one wins.

Fortunately, there is another way to look at it. And that’s reading Eva Green’s lyrics—the messages she wrote in confidence during what sounds like a really painful time in her life—and just giving the woman a massive standing ovation. Because while we live in an age where every celebrity on earth is struggling to make little YouTube videos where they answer Google questions or eat snacks go viral, it’s clear that Eva Green will do whatever she can to stand out from the rest of us.

Seriously. It’s 2023. When was the last time you heard someone even unironically refer to other people as “peasants”? It does not happen. Even the people who might think of other people as peasants are smart enough not to actually say it out loud because they know how colossally out of touch they will sound.

But not Eva Green. She is haughty and powerful. She knows exactly where she stands in the world, and she’d rather die than hang out with people like us. Her disdain is palpable, and really, isn’t that exactly what we want in a movie star? Don’t we all, deep down, strive to be so isolated and untouchable that we can call people assholes and idiots and throw up in text messages? Don’t we want our kids to be paid so well that they can throw around the word “farmer” with abandon and somehow have it enhance their personal brand?

Honestly, the only thing better than Eva Green’s lyrics would be learning that she dictates them to a quivering assistant from a velvet chaise longue because she simply can’t summon the effort to type them out by hand. Because that would be true star behavior.

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